Sanj Shetty On Juggling Career And Fatherhood

I recently asked my Twitter-buddy, Sanj Shetty, to share with my readers his secret to juggling his careers as a television producer and presenter and author with fatherhood.  I am delighted to present to you his humorous, touching and very honest reply!


Daddy's work is never done . . . .


I’m going to admit defeat now. If you’re looking for advice on how to combine being a decent father with a career, I’m not the right man.


If you’re looking for tips on how to get your life organised and ready for that first day of crying, pooping and total sleep deprivation, then, again, and I say this with all due sincerity, please look elsewhere.


And if you’re worried that your sex life has died a silent and sudden death and your partner now dribbles into her pillow through total exhaustion and hasn’t given you a look of lust for months, again, I say, that’s too bad.


There’s a line in an old film – I think it was Brian de Palma’s The Untouchables – where Sean Connery says to Kevin Costner: “What are you prepared to do?”  It echoes in my head now, as it did on the 27th February 2003, when I found out I was going to be a dad.  I can hear it when one of my boys walks into my arms when he’s finished school and asks whether I could come on a school trip with him.  And it buzzes into my head when they ask me to tell them a story which you can’t find in a book but in the imagination they reckon their dad has (I really don’t have it, but they haven’t caught on yet).


I read my share of books before my first son was born.  I asked the people who I knew  were parents for some advice and perspective. Always, I heard the words “fatigue”, “sleep deprivation”, and “nothing like anything you’ve ever experienced”.  I also heard my mum say “if he’s anything like you, God help us.”  Apparently, I had a tendency to, in obviously the sweetest way possible, never shut up, always be hungry and sleep two hours a night.  I think she’s enjoying a little sense of satisfaction at the fact that her first grandson was a chip off the old block.


Why am I telling you all this? Because, honestly, the only key for me to the ‘juggling’ of a career with fatherhood is readiness and desire. And a sense of responsibility.


I’ve had a boy who wouldn’t sleep for 18 months, unless he could share a bed with his dad and kick him where the sun doesn’t shine. I had another who woke me up every three hours as he crawled over my body to get to his mum’s nipple. I don’t remember getting a decent night’ sleep until my youngest was four.


In those crazy eight years, I’ve gone from being a producer on television to a presenter, even as the ageing process accelerated through prolonged lack of shut-eye.  And I’ve got two beautifully behaved sons, who in their last school reports, were described as role models for the rest of their peers.


Am I special? Hell no. Am I organised? I can already hear my wife chuckling in anticipation of the answer. But I’m living my dream – being the father of two boys. And when you’re presented with what you always wanted, surely it’s incumbent on us all to make it work, rather than expecting further miracles.


PS I also have a really rather wonderful wife, who is the world’s best mother (she didn’t make me say that).


Sanj Shetty is a sports journalist for the BBC. He lives, for now, in West London with his wife Laura and their two boys.
You can follow him on twitter at twitter.com/SanjBBC